Welcome Hilary! BLUE!

The road to Pristina, Kosovo from Skopje, Macedonia didn't lend itself to the usual pursuits of shuteye or reading (me of my emancipated slave story and Mr Fidget of his conspiracy theories). It was two and a half hours of natural rumble strips, pot holes and hairpin bends, so much so I am of the opinion if they straightened the road out the trip would be half the time, if that! But it was worth the trip to view in awe the bluest sofa this side of anywhere.

After the border crossing and taking pride in our Kosovo passport stamps it was startling the obvious change in wealth and infrastructure; the dual speed signs for cars and tanks was also noteworthy. Kosovo being primarily Muslim (secular)you cant help feel this area of the former Yugoslavia was deliberately under invested and the troubles that arose when Serbia found ultra nationalism were always a ticking time bomb; what is surprising is its the Serbs that were the aggressors.

Arriving in Pristina there was the usual haggle for taxis and the usual arrival at a price 50% of the asking price. The quick taxi ride to the Velania Hotel in the pouring rain we entered the basement area of the hotel to find the reception area and I must admit, even with my varied experiences with dodgy hotels, the drab basement didn't envelop me with any feelings of comfort and the choking thick cigarette smoke from the four chain smokers in the small reception/kitchen (approx 2m x 2m) made me feel more than a little nauseous. But we were here now and this was the only show in town as far aw we were aware.

Luckily we found ourselves at the top of the house with central heating, kitchen, internet, a stunning king of the jungle fleece blanket and a BLUE! sofa... never did you see a sofa so BLUE!... It was monumental in its beautifully puffy arms and back and did I say it was BLUE!!!!!!!! (dont ask me what colour, its enough that one of the most colour blind you may ever have met though it glowed in the dark!

Some internet time (as still catching up with our blogs given the lack of Komputamebobs in Macedonia) a coffee (which turned out to be some instant powdered Turkish coffee type stuff and some dubious long life milk) and we decided it was time to head into the centre to find some food and checkout the nightlife.

Did I mention it was raining? As we muddled to find our way into the centre, up a hill, down a hill, sideways and forwards again it rained and it rained and it rained. When we finally found ourselves at our destined bar (Bar 91) and after a mix up over which beer I had actually ordered (questions Ive noted usually turn into orders - note to self to not ask questions in future) I was soon horrified to find myself in a bar with a bunch of the most vile ex-pats, dressed like chavs, smoking like cheap whores and making an almighty racket with their love of shouting (which they all thought was very funny), so we finished up our pints and did what everyone else would do after a pint, go for a Chinese. I know, I know, this is Kosovo not London but there wasn't much traditional food in the offering (I'm pretty sure Tex-Mex isn't traditional Kosovo food either) and it turned out to be some of the best Chinese food we have ever eaten. As has become customary on this trip we ordered twice as much as we could possibly eat but wished we had enough room to eat twice as much as we ordered - apart from the burger thingy and sausages in Vincani, which were vile and left me feeling nauseous much of our trip north to Debar.

Nothing much going on around town so we headed back in wind and rain to the hotel on the hill and into the arms of the BLUE sofa. A great nights sleep and we decided to say another night so we could look around town, although not in the same hotel, so we did some sleuth work and ended up in a very nice hotel in the old Turkish quarter, warm with duv-ettes, another lovely shower - but alas no BLUE sofa, there was a lovely frilly floral sofa in reception but it had nothing on the Velanis BLUE sofa, besides there is only room in this world for one such BLUE sofa.

After a day hunting around, taking pictures of anything and everything - including large billboards welcoming Hilary Clinton to town (although I'm sure the chosen picture wouldn't have ingratiated their guest - and finished the day with a Tex-Mex (yes the other famous Kosovo dish) and it was at this point I lost my tolerance for smoke filled restaurants. All I ask is for one meal without cigarette smoke, is that too much to ask?

Back at the hotel while us old men settle down to read our books in our fancy hotel room with central heating and duv-ettes I wondered if this is what Bert and Ernie would look like on holiday. Would they

Long > short, next morning after neither of us got a decent nights sleep - Mr Fidget obviously wasn't drunk enough and I have no idea what my problem was, so I just lay there listening to and watching Mr Fidgets little feet flapping away in his sleep, with such gusto he looked like 'The Man from Atlantis' on a mission - the morning greeted us with loud rain, which turned out to be loud rain plus SNOW! Lots of Snow, flakes as big as plumbs! Damn was it cold and miserable... lets get the hell out of Kosovo before the Serbs cut off the power again!

Three hours later we arrived in Skopje, had another over indulgent lunch at the local shopping mall, Ben picked up another book of conspiracy theories (this time its nothing to do with Christ's foreskin, just something about politics and prophesies that means we are all doomed, you know the kind of thing (I'm still reading my emancipated slave story which has taken a turn with the good massa gone bad :-o ...and then we were on the bus to Sofia...

Approx 5 hrs later, with yet more stamps in our passports and we are in Sofia (Ive used Sofia and Sofija interchangeably in this blog as everywhere I look its spelled differently)... a ripoff taxi (although the loss was only about 3 euros again) and we were at the Hostel Mostel, but the old location, which wouldn't have been too much of a problem except I was now tiered and grumpy and it was raining like a bitch.

Luckily Ben's iphone did its magic and we found ourselves in the funkiest and possibly the most lively hostel I have ever stayed. Our room was in an apartment one block from the main building (which was a 19th century coach inn) in a dramatic 50s apartment with wooden parque flooring, marble and wood paneling, nice!

Dinner in a Bulgarian restaurant (me still tiered and grumpy), Bulgarian's answer to a Mariachi band (me still tiered and grumpy) and we struggled home again in the bitter cold to discover our sheets and woolen blankets were far to scratchy for sensitive skinned men like us... oh how we bitched like teenage girls in the morning. And then we discovered it was snowing, GREAT!!!

Breakfast over and done with and its time for the repatriation of Mr Fidget to the land of eternal duv-ettes, soft sheets, real tea, English television and sofas that don't glow in the dark.

The rest of the day I was in a bit of a funk, still tiered, the shock of being alone and bloody cold, so cold my legs are burning! So I waited around for my new room, blogged a bit, listened to an Irish farmer discuss cow breeds with a fellow farmer (and I thought IT speak was dry) and I hit the sack after a beer and spag-boll.

Tomorrow its explore Sofia and decide on my next move...